Today, the church honors the parents of Our Blessed Mother, St. Joachim and St. Anne, grandparents to Our Lord.
We are bless to know that we have St. Joachim and St. Anne as patron saints of grandparents and infertile couples.
Perfect time as we are also in the midst of NFP Awareness Week, Natural Family Planning.
NFP as stated by NFP Interenational is ,
NFP is a way of following God’s plan for achieving and/or avoiding pregnancy. It consists of ways to achieve or to avoid pregnancy using the physical means that God has built into human nature.
The key point here is following God’s plan and some times, God’s plan doesn’t go along with our plan. I can understand that to core of my being . Our NFP story isn’t much to tell really. We didn’t really focus on it before we got married nor did we think 4 months later, we would be blessed with being pregnant. All my life, All I dream of was to have a large family to fully love .
My case with NFP wasn’t always a happy one. I have to say that I had a love-hate relationship with it. I mean I thought, I am pro-life, open to life always, why did I need NFP.
But God in his great wisdom shares with me another take on NFP.
I imagine that it was going to be easy to have more children. Then we lost our very first son, Pablo de Cruz . It was a surprise pregnancy (I think all pregnancy are a surprise) yet again but one that we were so happy to see! The lost was a cut to core of my soul. NFP got really interesting since I really wanted to know what was going on with my body, why was I not pregnant again. We use NFP to help us achieve pregnancy with our healthy son.
After our son was born, we were yet blessed again with a pregnancy 8 months later which I gave birth to sweet baby girl. There was no time nor energy to really get into the NFP and 20 months later baby girl number 3.
I felt that I was living my dream, even thu it was crazy with 3 kids in diapers at one time and a six-year-old but I love it. Every minute it. I wanted more.
A year later after our latest baby girl was born, we lost a girl, Martha . It was hard times for me. It took a lot of time with NFP and trying to follow God’s plan. Fast forward two more years, pregnant with a sweet baby boy who never seen the beauty of this side of heaven . Losing Benditico was the most suffering I had ever endure in my whole life. No- one was meant to deliver a silent baby, NO-ONE was to endure that.
But in His greatest wisdom, He holds us through our suffering so that we can bring souls to His Mercy.
God must have really needed my suffering for some great cause that one day I pray that I will truly understand as once again, a year and half later, we lost our last son, Juan Deigo.
For a very long time, I felt so alone in the sense since I had four beautiful children whom am I to feel the pain of sub-infertile , to complain, to ache , to want more. I felt, I had too many for the secular world and not enough for the Catholic world…
There wasn’t much left in my core . I took NFP as an enemy for whatever crazy reason. I saw others who prevent pregnancy as selfish, lack of love. I was dead wrong. But since God out does us in generosity, He heal me in my brokenness and show me, that I don’t need another child, I needed HIM! Him alone. After that freeing moment , I never look at NFP or anyone else situations the same.
I just looked with love and mercy.
After 8 long years, I do have now a sweet baby girl who is the joy of my life along with her brother and 3 sisters. I am so blessed that I can’t even begin to count. But I have felt the hell of not achieve pregnancy for a long time and losing part of my heart to my Heavenly children. I have pray endlessly to this couple whom we celebrate today!
God is all good. His plan is perfect.
Now, remember we all have a story to tell, not inventory to count.
With the Love of Christ,
Cecilia @Hair Bows 4 Life